Orihime's the man!
by Death-By-Sanity
Summary: Orihime in some debt so her best friend Rukia makes her a deal, she'll pay off her debt if she does her a favour... What Orihime didn't realise that meant going to an ALL boys school as a boy! Orihime under the new Yahiko must now spy on the boy that turned Rukia down, Ichigo Kurosaki but as things never go to plan! (Plot twist no jutsu!) (No pairings certain yet !)
1. Prologue

**_Okay first story, new account... :D _**

**_If you ever have seen the movie she's the man... It's very off cannon of that plot! _**

**_So tell me what you think! _**

**_Enjoy! _**

* * *

**_Prologue _**

Once again I have made the wrong choice, I'm good at making them thought society would class that as a bad thing in itself. So either way you look at it, I have managed to screw up... Again!

Looking back on it now, quitting school was to get to my job on time wasn't my best idea then when you get sacked the very same day you start to regret it, as I am which leads to my current situation.

At the start I had thought it would be easy to find another job since the school had refused to take me back because they'd already filled my space apparently it's a popular school.

Well damn...

But after the first two weeks of rejections and lack of income I started to realise how much of a mess I really was in.

Luckily the old job had given me some redundancy pay which will never make up for sacking me in the first place and the redundancy wasn't that much but it was getting me by.

Keyword there being, _was_ as I am now broke.

At moments like this I wish, I had a family to conceal in but thinking back to the time when I did, only hurt more and brought back the nightmares. So I tend to stay away from the topic as much as humanly possible.

I know one day everything would come crashing down on me but I'm not going down without a fight!

Bring it on life!...Okay maybe I shouldn't have shouted that... I have probably sealed my own fate while whatever is up there laughing down at me like it's some kind of comedy event.

Also to add to the recent run off bad new the goldfish died which must have been karma bitch slapping me after I killed the spider the other day when I say killed I mean squashed and yes it is still under one of the months squashed but hell if I'm looking for it, I hate the things which again will give me a nice surprise when I get to that month in which said is spider squashed under.

So yeah that's about it, I'm out of school, running low on cashing with no family with a dead goldfish and squashed spider somewhere in my flat while being laughed at constantly, by whatever powers come from above…

Yep sounds about right…

By the way my name's Orihime Inoue.

Welcome to my crazy life.


	2. The deal

_**Ahh the first chapter!**_

_**R&R F&F **_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

_**Chapter One: The Deal**_

I looked over to the door to see a pile of mail hit the floor.

"Let's see" I picked up the pile mail. Great a pile, just what I didn't need.

"Bill" I placed it in the back of the pile.

"Bill"

"Bill"

How many bills can I have? I'm only 15!

"Bill"

"Oh look another bill what a surprise"

"Bill"

"Bill"

"Final demand notice"

"Bill"

"Bil-"

"-Wait Final demand notice!" I exclaimed as I clutched the letter in both hands dropping all the other bills letting them litter the front of my flat.

I looked at the letter again blinked to make sure I had read it correctly.

Final demand notice

Yep I had read it correctly, though I wish I hadn't.

"Well this isn't good" I said as I ripping open the top of the envelop while walking over to the worn down sofa sitting on the edged as I pulled out the letter, and started reading it.

_Dear tenant,_

_I have written to you today to give you this final warning; you are four months behind in rent this year. I have been aware there has been some problems and have tried to overlook the rent for a while until you could pay up but its seems that my attempts were in vain as you are yet to pay up and I could have other tenants that will pay on to time that would have your room, I should have kicked you out long ago when you didn't pay though as I'm feeling kind, I wish to give you one more chance…Pay up by the end of the week or you're out!_

_Have a nice day!_

Yep, I'm doomed.

I dropped the letter and laid spread out on the sofa like some kind of dried up starfish dying on the scolding sand on a desert island. Okay maybe little over dramatic but to put it simply.

I'm screwed, I have no money left, I'm out of work out of school and in debt up to my forehead even though I'm not that tall, is still a lot. I sighed and closed my eyes thinking of anything that could possibly help me out at this point in time…

And well I only have one thing I could think off…But do I really want to do it?

Do I have a choice? No, not really unless I want to be out in the streets...

I sighed, glancing at the empty goldfish bowl, yes finally after two day decided that the goldfish wasn't pulling some crazy prank on me and was going to jump alive again, so I flushed it down the toilet which has somehow become the traditional bury one which doesn't make sense but saying that neither did waiting two days for thinking it was trying to pull a prank on me and jump back alive when I wasn't looking.

Anyway I'm getting off the very important matter at hand.

I…I-I was going to have to call her…

I sighed before picking up my mobile luckily I had managed to top up before all my money was spent on bill…

Curse you bills!

If I ever meet someone called, Bill! I'll punch them, even though it's not their fault and had absolutely nothing to do with the matter, I'd get my frustration out some day. I'm not a violent person but still...

Again off topic, I have a habit of doing that, ranting and waffling about unimportant stuff, back to the job at hand.

I look down at the contact name R.K, I paused and took a deep breath before pressing the call button while pressing it to my ear

_Ring ring…Ring ring…Ring ring…Ring ring…Ring rin- _

"Orihime!" A happy loud voice exclaimed down the other end of the phone nearly deafening me in the process one of the reasons that I didn't want to do this.

"Hello Rukia" I relied while rubbing my ears surprised that I could hear my own speech after that.

Yes if you haven't gathered yet that the R.K stands for Rukia Kuchiki

My bestfriend, though sometimes I do wonder.

"I haven't heard from you in like forever!" Rukia exclaimed, I sweatdropped.

"You called me last week remember? You were over excited saying something about a great idea you had thought to get Ichigo to notice you and you just had to do the fine details before you went off on a rant about Ichigo" I said replaying in my head how I had decide to look up on some jobs while she ranted about her beloved Ichigo, who was yet to give back any of this affection, while scrolling through the job list giving the occasional _"Yup"_ and _"Yeah"_ to make it sound like I was listening while she ranted on about the guy.

Yet I've never met him and I'm not really planning on it.

"Oh yeah! I was just about to call you anyway! I have a favour to ask you" Rukia said, I could imagine her fluttering her eyelashes pretending to look innocent while asking, not that I would have been able to see it anyway but she did it in that kind of voice, you know the one that sounds like she wouldn't be able to harm a fly but if planning on putting you thought extreme torture or worse another Ichigo rant.

Please god no, not again!

I swear I know more about the guy then he probably knows about himself.

Then again, I could use this knowledge to my advantage, write a book about him and sell if off to all his fangirls which I have heard there are in hundreds which would make me a very rich kid putting me out of debt forever.

Though there's two problems with this...

One: I can't concentrate on a 10 second advert nevermind write a whole book in a week.

Two: I wouldn't be able to do that to the guy, I have nothing against the guy since I've never met him the only thing being that I have to listen to everything Rukia knows about him every time she calls and well I really didn't want to remember some of the details Rukia had gone into about his. Well let's just say you'll be saner if you didn't know.

"Um, well yeah I have a favour to ask you to Rukia" I replied somewhat nervously, I could hear Rukia gasp at the other end of the phone, I rubbed my hand nervously down the side of my trousers.

"Really?" She asked in disbelief, as if shocked that the thought would even cross my mind. I sweatdropped.

"No, I lied " I replied sarcastically, she hmmed down the phone, I knew she was wondering what could I possibly need a favour off her for.

Either that or she was thinking of Ichigo again*Shivers*

"Hey I know why don't we make a deal, I'll help you out with whatever you need, if you promise to help me out with mine" Rukia happily chirped down the phone.

Without even thinking, I replied.

Note this is the craziest and insaniest thing I've ever done.

"Deal" My brain went into overload the second after, of the horror of what I had just mindlessly agreed too.

"Great!" Rukia exclaimed down the phone

What on earth I had just gotten myself into…

"I'm curious" Rukia said thoughtfully down the phone to me, I screwed up my face.

"I don't wanna know" I replied mental images from the last time that line had been spoken down this phone. Images that have scared me for life.

"No, no, no! Nothing like that!" Rukia protested, I blinked.

"Really" I replied in disbelief, this time it was my turn to be shocked.

"Yeah, I don't always think about Ichigo" Rukia went back into happy mode. I had tactfully held the phone away from my ear, I swear I hear his one more time. I haven't a clue what I'd do but I won't be happy!

"Stay with me Rukia! You said you were curious…What were you curious about?" I questioned her trying to make sure she didn't turn fangirl on me…Or god help us all.

"Oh yeah, I was going to ask you what you need me for? Since it is my side of the deal" Rukia said snapping out of it, I relaxed and inwardly sighed before realising what she had asked and got slightly fidgety. Well I did ask the question.

"Umm…Well, you know how I've been out of work for a few week now…Umm I was wondering, if you could lend me a bit of money" I asked nervously.

"Hu? What do you mean Orihime?" Rukia questioned me…Damn…

"Well, I'm kind of in some debt" I replied.

"Debt? Too who? How much?" Rukia fired questioned at me, her voice somewhat alarmed.

"Well I haven't read all the bills yet but mostly my landlord since he's threatened if I don't pay him by the end of the week, he'll kick me out" I replied, Rukia gasped loudly.

"Orihime! How far behind are you?!" Rukia questioned alarmed.

"Umm…Four months" I replied quietly as if I didn't want her to hear.

I really didn't…

"HU! B-but last few months whenever I called you were doing fine for money!" Rukia replied as if horrified at the current news.

"I kinda lied…" I replied, explaining. Rukia has been quiet for a minute

This bad thing…

Very bad.

"Orihime…Why didn't you tell me?" Rukia questioned me gently.

"Um, well I didn't want to worry you, plus you have your studies" I replied.

"You Baka!" Rukia shouted down the phone which startled me and almost made me drop the phone but after a few seconds of hot potato I managed to catch it and put it back to my ear.

"If you were here now, I was smack you so hard you're remaining brain cells would fall out!" Rukia shouted down at me.

Remaining? Thanks Rukia

"You should have told me sooner! My family is filthy rich and could bail you out for the next 20 years and still afford vacations 52 days a year!" Rukia exclaimed down the phone.

"Yeah I know...But…You know…Asking someone to bail you out because you're out of a job, school and pocket …Plus I haven't been able to see ever since you got into that high school" I replied thinking back to about a year ago was when she left and she had been too busy with all the work load she's been given. Rukia wants to go into the medical institute like her sister also wanting to become a fashion designer as well which had put a lot of pressure on her and also work.

"Orihime, you don't have to think like that! I'll never think bad off you, I'm always going to be in debt to you for saving my life the first time we met" Rukia replied.

"Yes, yes I remember well… Still can't believe you thought I was a boy" I replied sweat dropping.

"Well you did! With your shortish hair and boy cloth on what did you expect me to think? Plus you do look like one" Rukia replied casually. A tick appeared above my eye.

Curse you!

"I don't!" I shouted back

Okay maybe I was sulking over the matter but she sad I look like a boy!

Okay I admit my hair wasn't as long down as other girls or that I wear girls cloth, but at least I'm more developed than Rukia since the last time I saw her.

Take that!

Wait she can't hear me...

Damn I don't look like a boy!

…Do I?

"I remember looking into your bright blue eyes looking at your messy hair and I could care less stance and thinking that he's the one for me" Rukia said dreamily down the phone.

"Rukia stop it, that freaking me out! Stop remembering me as a boy! Anyway you know I've grown my hair longer since then" I replied, Rukia giggled down the phone

Again not good.

"Okay, okay! Oh I forgot to tell you the great news!" Rukia happily exclaimed down the phone, I blinked.

"I'm coming over to see you! I should be there by Saturday!" Rukia exclaimed. It took a few seconds for my brain to processes what she was saying, my eyes darted to calendar over on the wall.

Yes the spider is still under there somewhere. No I'm not going to try and find it.

That was only three days away! I grinned like a Cheshire cat.

"Yay" I shouted happily down the phone, Rukia giggled again.

Okay she's up to something…

"Oh and I'm bringing Tatsuki with me! While I'm down there I'll sort out your debt problem" Rukia said giggling again.

Stop giggling! You're freaking me out!

"But you won't have to worry about paying rent anymore" Rukia said , I blinked.

What?

"Hu?" I replied in confusion.

"This is your side of the deal" Rukia giggled down the phone, my brain went overdrive again trying to put the price together but wasn't getting very far so I was left in the dark.

"You're going to Karakura High!" Rukia exclaimed.

I went quiet

Is she kidding me?

Really that place is for the most prestigious families and talented children in the county.

Apparently she hadn't finished yet

"As a boy!" Rukia exclaimed giggling, I was so much shock that I froze, a few seconds later.

WHAT THE HELL!

Yep my brain was working again.

"What?!" I exclaimed complete and utter disbelief flowing through me at this moment in time.

No words were able to describe it.

"Orihime Inoue, or should I say Yahiko Inoue, your officially off to Konoha high!"

...

"Everything has already been classified! We've got you a place in the most prestigious, famous school thought out the whole country with the highest success rate anywhere for boys! And you're just going to there as a boy" Rukia said as if it was a casual thing ever while I was mentally and physically freaking out.

I did what any normal person would have done in that situation

…_Thud…_

"Orihime?"

...

"Orihime?"

...

"Orihime?!"

Yes, I fainted...


	3. Rukia, Tatsuki and the mall!

_**Thank you all! For all your support and reviews! **_

_**Thanks to RedRubyS.C, SadAngel262, Rei Katsuro and AnimeOtakuAnime for favoriting!**_

_**Thanks to SadAngel262, AnimeOtakuAnime and Esa The Great for following! **_

_**And very specail thanks tooooo Esa The Great AND AnimeOtakuAnime FOR REVIEW! **_

_**All of you are awesome! 3**_

_**Note: I might not review for a few days to a week because I'm at college and busy and my laptop decided screw it I'm deleting the plot**_

_**Also can you find the other anime charater I added in there with a little jab at him ^^" **_

_**I also fixed a couple of errors out of the first chapter like putting INo instead of Tatsuki, really shouldn't be doing this while watching Naruto XD **_

_I made Rukia OCC slightly as you'll see she'll get better but..._

_**Anyway R&R and Enjoy!**_

* * *

_**Chapter two: Rukia, Tatsuki and the mall**_

After I fainted I woke up to my phone flashing indicating that I had a text, take a guess at who it was from. Yep it was a text from Rukia saying...

_Orihime! Hope you're ok!_

_ Anyway after a little thinking time from me and Tatsuki. We decided to get to you as soon as possible which will probably be tomorrow afternoon, once there I will brief you on your mission! _

_See ya tomorrow! ;)_

Tomorrow?! What happened to three days? Dear god I need to clean up!

WAIT! Did she just out Brief and mission?!

What on earth have I got myself into...

As she had put on the text Rukia and Tatsuki arrived then the next day around dinner happily and loudly so I definitely knew it was them.

It was nice to see Tatsuki again, I haven't seen her in years since she moved away. Rukia really hadn't changed in the year, yes she was still the loud-mouthed looney she was back then. I think I can justified that comment because she is planning on sending me to a school as a boy!

I sat there staring up the ceiling thinking about anything and everything when I was brought out of my thought by a knock at my door  
Knock, knock.

"Orihime! It's me and Tatsuki!" Rukia shouted, I rolled my eyes. Slipping off the sofa and casually walked to my door and opened it only to be attacked by a mop of black hair.

"ORIHIME!" Rukia shouted while bare hugging me.

Oh lord!

Air! Need Air!

Note: For such a small girl she had a pretty good grip!

"R-Rukia I can't breathe!" I managed to stutter out. My face was turning blue for pete sake!

Luckily, Rukia finally must have seen the colour draining from my face and let go. Letting me breath once again.

I breathed deeply letting the oxygen fill my lungs again, after a minute my face decided to turn normal colour again I looked at Rukia, she had grown a little, about an inch, if that and she wasn't that tall to begin with. Unlucky! That's what you get for trying to kill me or whatever you're planning on the future that will probably end with me being killed! Even if it didn't have anything whatsoever with her height but still! I on the other hand had grown a little more and was about an a few inches taller than her!.

Takatsuki smiled over at me, I grinned back before being encased in another hug... At least this one wasn't life threatening

"Hey Tatsuki, long time no see" I greeted as we parted the NICE hug, see Rukia thats how hugs should be done! Not the possible critical outcomes!

"Hey Orihime. How you doing?" Tatsuki replied.

Oh come on!

Did she really just ask...

"Oh you know, just getting evicted in a couple of days and getting dragged into another Rukia scheme, you know the usual" I replied sarcastically, her eyes widened and she gasped.

"I'm sorry Orihime, I forgot!" Tatsuki exclaimed apologetically

"I think my brains too clogged up with Rukia's Ichigo rants to remember the imprint thing" Tatsuki added.

"I ditto that" I replied we both laughed a little when we saw Rukia was blushing slightly.

"Hey!" Rukia shouted at us for laugh at her before I lead them both into my flat.

After, loads and I mean load of catching up. Note most the talking done by Rukia...

Again she can talk for England!

It was lunch time and the other two decided that the Tesco value ready meal wouldn't cut it, so they dragged me out for an expensive meal at some fancy restaurant that I'd only ever walked past while Rukia decided to final to brief on me on my "_Mission_"

"Sooo Orihime here's the deal" Rukia said to me while picking at her salad before shoving a piece of celery into her mouth, chewing on it before swallowing it. I looked down at the burger and chips in front of me smothered in ketchup before looking at Rukia's salad.

Can you even call a salad a meal? It looks more like a side dish to me...

Meanwhile Tatsuki had decided on fish and chips and was current stood near the exit while on the phone to her Boyfriend?

Well I think that's who she was talking to.

Nope, I guess not as she just said the words "_It's too boyish for you"_

Girlfriend maybe?

I'm not ruling it out, you never know. I don't have any probably with it, so if she does have a girlfriend it's fine with me. Yep no problem, maybe I'll ask her what it-

Okay it's not her girlfriend.

It was her mum...

That fact supported by the phrase _"I'll talk to you later mum my foods arrived" _

Okay I really need to stop jumping to conclusions...

I was brought out of my mental nonsense by Rukia voice.

"Your mission, is to go to Karakura high... As a boy, as it is a all boy school and befriend Ichigo while getting information on him then report back to me" Rukia declared, I blinked though I wasn't that shocked that it had something to do with the "_famous_" Ichigo Kurosaki

Well looks like I'm actually going to meet the guy after all.

"You are also to keep any and all girl away from him! Is that clear!" Rukia shouted like a commander to his troops while also send me glaring at me. I'm not going to say no now. She'd skin me alive!

So I gave up and nodded and gave a tacky solute back. Rukia gave a victorious woop while I wondered if it was physically possible to smother chips in enough ketchup that it would kill you but that thought went out the window when Rukia snatched the bottle out of my hand saying that I would ruin the taste.

After the three of us had eaten and Rukia made sure I knew exactly what I had to do, we had all gone back to my flat and had some sort of sleep over with the pair which involved stories, boys, chocolate and more boys, thought I really didn't want to hear about the topic of the opposite gender considering I was going to be spending god knows how long pretending to go on for.

Though I did get questioned on where Mr Fish the 9th had gone... Yes the goldfish was called Mr Fish the 9th, take a guess why. Mr Fish the 9th being the dead goldfish that I'd flushed away not long ago. Well he was a birthday present from Rukia's brother Byakuya, okay considering their family is filthy rich and he got me a goldfish for my birthday plus the fact that he was given it free just of turning up to a fair while I had to pay for my ticket... I don't think he likes me that much, then again I don't think Byakuya likes anyone that much, so to get any form of present was a miracle in itself.

"Oh my god did either off you see Zero on the front cover of Top Girl?" Rukia chirped up dragging me out of my mental rant. I sweatdropped.

Does it look like I have enough money to buy magazines? And if I did why the hell that one!

Rukia was currently lying in her pink and purple chappy sleeping bag while Tatsuki was in a navy blue one. I had brought my mattress and quilt onto the floor for the sleepover, I had sweatdropped at Rukia when she nearly went mentally insane because there wasn't a chappy on any sleeping bag...

While we were walking out the shop the Rukia was giggling about the chappy design with a very happy shown owner while was grinning like a maniac shouting "_Come back soon!_"

"He looked so hot, like I just wanted to have him stand there in a glass window for the rest of my life!" Rukia explained excitedly while Tatsuki sighed.

"Who?" I questioned, Rukia's eyes shot at me like they had just seen a puppy been ran over.

"YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF ZERO KIRYU!" The Rukia literally scream at me.

I flinched at the loudness and nod slowly the shock evident on her faces as the as turn to me, then out of nowhere she grab my shirt and pull me forward then shoved a magazine into my face. Tatsuki watched on looking sympathetic at me.

Don't just sit there help me Tatsuki!

Again Orihime she can't hear you... This your brain speaking in, I repeat she can't hear you!

Okay I'm going slightly insane.

Maybe just maybe it might AGAIN from the lack of oxygen cause my Rukia this time with a magazine shoved in my face!

"Rukia, I can't see it, if I have to literally breathe thought the damn thing" I said taking the magazine out of her grip and my face.

I looked down at the magazine to see a guy with silver hair holding a gun with his shirt off, Rukia peered the right side of me, I swear she had love hearts as their eyes.

"Where is his shirt?" I questioned, both looked at m,e Rukia confused as anything like I had just told her that he was part vampire. Tatsuki just looked plain amused.

"Orihime, Orihime, Orihime my dear Orihime, you have been in the dark too long you haven't yet to see the real world" Rukia said sadly while patting my back, Tatsuki just laughed. I sweatdropped it was only a simple question.

Then after deciding that, one I was tired after the long and literally breath taking day and two I think Rukia's going to start boy ranting again and trust me it's not something you want to hear.

The next day the pair dragged me out the flat...

SAVE ME SUPER MAN!

Rukia told me that it had been a good thing that they had come a few days early as they would have educate me on how to live.

WHAT WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!

She also told me that this was day she was going to work her magic.

HEELLLPPPP MEEEEEE!

Which if you haven't figured out yet meant she was going to turn me into a boy!

Why did agreed to this again, though I did owe it Rukia who had that very same day pay off all my debt so I couldn't really argue before we left.

Rukia stood the left of me and Tatsuki stood the right side, I looked up at the giant building which was Town Mall which for the life of me, I have tried to avoid with all cost...

"Let's go Orihime! We're going to have soo much fun!" Rukia exclaimed pumping her free fist into the air. While Tatsuki gave me another symplectic look. Please stop giving me those, it really isn't helping the situation.

"Orihime by the time all the girls are going to be all over you!" Rukia declared who had an evil glint in her eyes; while Tatsuki pattered my back. I gulped as Rukia placed her hands on my shoulders.

After all hell went lose!

If there is any good things to savate from the day it would be that Rukia was having a blast while Tatsuki has yet to stop laughing.

By lunch we were apparently half way through the make Orihime look like a boy to go to a school to stalk a boy to report back to the girl who like said boy as the boy she'd sent to the school to stalk…

What kind of plan is that?!

Anyway by lunch time they had cut my hair short again but this time more boyish.

Damn it was even shorter then when I first met Rukia!

I had also thought about getting a new goldfish but apparently it would look sad if I ever brought a girl back to my room and I had a goldfish just sat there. I believe she's already forgot I'm a girl, I'm not going to be bringing back any girls!

Ahhhhhhh!

They had also found some bandages the bind my chest, which didn't work out very well the first time until they got this very tight T-shirt type thing and shoved it on me then bandaged around me until they ran out.

Quote the words "_Tatsuki get some more bandages! These are huge!" _

Yes I was and still slightly disturbed by that comment...

After Rukia binded my chest up, nearly suffocating me in the process.

Anyone see a recurring theme here?

Rukia decided to tell me that I looked like a well built guy and that she didn't know that actually had any muscles.

Again thanks Rukia...

She then proceeded to shove random cloths onto me before dragging me out into the food court. There we decided to eat. Let's just say her plan to make me look like a boy was working…

Maybe too well, as you will see, god help me when they've finished. I was sat down at a table next to Tatsuki, while Rukia had gone to order; Tatsuki slapped my hand away from my head.

"Orihime stop you'll mess it up!" Tatsuki scolded me, I sighed, it wasn't like I didn't like it considering it was better than a grade 1 that the hairdresser kept questioning me on if I wanted and I kept denying.

"Yeah, yeah I know" I said but pouted, some girls at the table next to me giggled, I sweatdropped and tried to ignore them. Tatsuki seemed to notice and smirked at me.

Well if anything girls think I'm a boy... That has to count for something...

Wait, what I thinking!

"Here we go!" Rukia shouted slamming the tray down making me jump banging my head on the table.

"Ow" I groaned holding the table again more giggles from the table besides me, Rukia raised her eyebrow.

"Don't ask" I replied to her unasked question, Rukia sat down and caught Tatsuki's eye who had yet stopped smirking.

"They've been giggling at Orihime ever since you left Rukia, we must be awesome if there already acting like this, to a new haircut and some bindings" Tatsuki commented popping a chip in her mouth. I rolled my eyes as I drank my chocolate milkshake.

We talked about random stuff while eating our food, me and Tatsuki laughing at Rukia's face as she watched in slow motion as she dropped her burger onto the floor. Then she pouted and crossed her arms making us laugh even more.

"Hey it's not funny you two" Rukia moaned looking at the seat next to the floor where her burger now lay and pouted, after out laughter finally died down. I heard Rukia's stomach rumble and saw that she didn't have much fries left.

She must be still hungry, well I would considering she hardly ate anything yesterday.

See Salad doesn't count as lunch!

I sighed and shoved her my food, I watched as her eyes widened.

"O-Orihime" Rukia stuttered, I rolled my eyes.

"Just take it Rukia, I'm not hungry" I lied, I was hungry but Rukia looked really depressed about that burger and I could live without it. Rukia's eyes watered and she wiped her eyes.

"Thanks you" Rukia cried, I sweatdropped, there were many "_Awww's_" and "_I wish I knew a boy like that_" coming from around me. I graoned and continued to drink my drink. Tatsuki had been watching the girls the whole time. I would also have to remind Rukia later that I was a girl.

Why do I have the feeling this isn't going to end well?

"Well we don't have to worry about you acting like one, you have that down to a T "Tatsuki hushed comment so that the girls that were watching me didn't hear. I sweatdropped.

"Thanks" I replied sarcastically rolling my eyes.

After that the two girls dragged me off again, apparently this time it was off for clothes and accessories.

I admit that shopping for a boy was a little less annoying than shopping for a girl but still annoying considering I had spent at least four hours changing cloths with a giggling Rukia and a smirking Tatsuki, to make things worse ever since I had given Rukia my burger in the hall a group of giggling girls had been following us all around as they carried on the last parts of my boy transformation thingy and well the more they dressed me up, the more girls followed.

I swear I saw a boy staring as well.

Well damn.

"Orihime! Hurry up in there will you!" Rukia exclaimed impatiently from the other side of the curtain.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming already" I said as I slid the jacket on, looking in the mirror and glared as my newly cut hair was going in every direction before giving it a quick ruffle attempting to fix it, it really didn't work I sighed while walking out.

"MINE!" Was all I heard before I was surrounded by a horde of screaming girls, I was backed into a corner.

HELP!

The swarmed me, I wasn't sure what they were doing though and I don't think I want to, though some I did see, they tried and kiss me, some even tried to grope me!

But luckily Rukia managed to drag me out before anything really got out of hand, they paid for my cloths, which was awkward because a few were still on me, and there was no chance I hell I was going back to change, so I had to be sat on the counter and scanned before all the girls found out I was no longer hiding in the corner.

THAT WAS NOT FUN!

Me and Tatsuki hurried out before the while Tatsuki laughed at my misfortune of loads of eyes on me. Meanwhile Rukia had seen a Chappy shop and decided to raid it. We could be here awhile...

I swear I'm not that appealing looking of a boy!

I'm a girl for christ sakes but looking like a boy... And with that in mind, I not going damned mall!

So I stood there in dark navy blue jeans, a with shirt with "_cool" _red markings on and a black Revolution jacket with some fancy trainers and my new hair cut and bind chest...

They did a good job... Which is a bad thing because I now look like a boy!

Yeah so then after that we decided to stay in for the rest of the night after Rukia finally surfaced from the Chappy store with well Chappy things. It was only Friday but then again when Rukia drops the bombshell on you saying that you'll started school on the Monday saying they had forgotten to inform you.

Ahhhhh! MONDAY!

Tatsuki seems to be enjoying this maybe a little too much...

That with the planning that she'd had been doing she'd conveniently forgotten, she decided that she was tired and wanted to go to bed, so we all did, I was currently staring up at the ceiling, wonder what have I exactly gotten myself into before drifting slowly off into a deep sleep.

"I wonder if this could get any weird." I whispered

Wait no! I take it back

"I heard that Orihime... Trust me it probably will" I heard Tatsuki whisper from next to me.

Soon I'll be Yahiko Inoue.

Well damn...


	4. Rukia's plan (part one) Girls

**_HEY EVERYONE!_**

**_Note: It's late here and I'm too tired to go over the spelling and such, so I'll go redo the mistake/edits and errors on a later date. This is fresh!_**

**_Note 2: I'll only be posting one chapter per week from now on... To much crazy stuff going off :D _**

**_THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED/FOLLOWED/FAVORITED!_**

**_You're all awesome! _**

**_(I will add shout outs on a later date or double on the next chapter) _**

**_R&R F&F! AND ENJOY! _**

* * *

**_Chapter Three ~ Rukia's plan (part one) Girls _**

It was Saturday, the day Rukia and Tatsuki SHOULD have been coming round but Rukia had other plans and came the day after. Which begs the question of what on earth am I going to be doing for the next two days?

Would it be surprising if I said that Rukia had declared she had a plan? No, no it wouldn't, it was Rukia's plan thats lead me to this situation in the first place.

"ORIHIME HURRY UP AND PUT YOUR CLOTHS ON!" Rukia shouted while banging on the bathroom door. And no these weren't my normal clothes these were my boy cloths.

Why can't I have a normal life?

"Jez Rukia calm down, you should know how long it took to bandage her chest, imagine how long it'll take single handedly" Tatsuki came to my defences.

Which was true and at least she phrased it better than Rukia yesterday.

"Yeah, those things could knock someone out!"

And today as well...

"I don't know when Orihime developed so much!" I heard Rukia comment from the other side of the bathroom door, which by the impact of Rukia's banging wouldn't last much longer. My flat was made for bombardment it was barely standing on its own nevermind with brutal Rukia attacks.

"Umm thanks Rukia... I guess" I replied while after finally slipping into that damned tight top thingy before starting to bandage the hell out of my chest.

"Any time today would be good Orihime" Rukia added while again going back to banboarding my poor bathroom door. I heard Tatsuki give a sigh.

Anyway ten minutes later I finally managed to get out the bathroom, only to be hit on the head by a tennis ball by Rukia, who said it was because I took too long.

Was that really necessary?

And where on earth did she get the tennis ball from anyway?!

"Today!" Rukia declared from behind us, breaking up me and Tatsuki conversation about how she was doing in school. We both turned to see Rukia stood there on a chair arms, hands on hips with a giant piece of paper attached to my wall with little drawing on them...Well I think that what it was anyway.

WHAT HAS SHE PLANNED FOR TODAY?!

"As you can see from my diagram, it should tell you everything" Rukia started, I blinked.

That was supposed to be a diagram of what exactly?

"Rukia, we're not robbing a bank" Tatsuki stated.

She can understand that?!

"That not what's its on about!" Rukia shot back sending Tatsuki a glare.

Apparently not...

"So what does it show Rukia?" I questioned her, she sent me a look that look like I just asked what planet I was on.

"Can't you tell?" Rukia questioned back.

No I asked I could read it perfectly.

"Would she ask if did?" Tatsuki spoke my mind. Rukia rolled her eyes.

"Well for those less fortunate to understand my artist drawings... This is that plan for the day, starting with getting more cloth for Orihime, since we only have one pair-"

NOOOO NOT AGAIN!

There no way in hell I'm going back! TT_TT

"-But since after what happened yesterday we're not going back to that mall." Rukia finished, I gave a sigh of refiled while Tatsuki smirked at my reaction.

Thank god!

"We're taking it up a notch!" Rukia declared.

Wait what?!

"We're going to Karakura town Super mall!" Rukia

"We're what!" I exclaimed in shock, Rukia seemed to be smirking, Tatsuki was trying to hold in her laugh.

Wasn't yesterday enough? Without going to the super mall!

...Apparently not...

"And pack your things Orihime because you're not coming back anytime soon!" Rukia declared and then continued.

"We're staying in a hotel tonight and Sunday and then you're going to school on the monday!" Rukia exclaimed she then turned around on the chair.

TODAY? You're kidding me!

Couldn't she have told me this earlier?

Rukia then started learning front ways on my wall and stretched out her arms... I blinked wondering what on earth she was doing.

"Rukia...What are you doing?" I questioned, Tatsuki seemed to be as confused.

"I'm taking the poster with me" Rukia replied.

She's taking the poster with her?

That thing is huge! Not much smaller than herself

Hehehe

"Why?" Tatsuki questioned, Rukia who had barely managed to take down the top left corner of the paper and was leaning over to the right.

"Because it'll explain what to do in a crisis as well!" Rukia explained, I blinked while Tatsuki just shuck her head.

You've got to be kidding?!

So yes another hour later after packing the few necessities of stuff I'll was planning on taking with me, Rukia said she'd store my belongings that I couldn't take with me. I think it might have been a huge give away if I went to school in my old cloths, one there old and two there girls cloths. They would tell I was a girl and give the whole thing away or take it the other way. We had made it there around lunch time which we decided to get something to eat.

"Rukia, please this time try not to drop you food" I told Rukia who was walking to the left of me while Tatsuki was on right.

I swear some of the girls in this time have a staring problem...

That was has a drooling problem.

Is she okay?

Damn thats one big puddle...

Someone could slip on that!

"Jez Orih-Yahiko, I wouldn't dare" Rukia mocked with a smirk on her face, which meant she was definitely going to try. I sweatdropped

"Oh yeah, we have to call you Yahiko" Tatsuki commented, I groaned.

"Why Yahiko anyway?" I questioned, Rukia shrugged.

"It was a name of one of the actors of the build board" Rukia answered.

Well at least she's honest.

After that Tatsuki luckily pointed out a fancy restaurant, which meant no radom public displays by Rukia. Why it was in a super mall I'll never know but Rukia decided that after yesterdays dinner of Tesco's microwave dinners looked like mush. Note I've been eating this "_Mush"_ for the last god know how many years. Anyway she wouldn't have to have that if she'd let me cook her something! But apparently my food is too weird...IT'S NOT! I just have a unique taste in food!

Well anyway, all three of us sat down in the restaurant and ordered. I had ordered a pizza unfortunately both Tatsuki and Rukia stopped me for ordering my own topping and decided to just get a plain cheese pizza.

Which sucks!

I mean I was only going to ask for pear and mayonnaise people have that on pizza right?

Rukia had soup.

So she calls tesco meals mush then goes and orders soup which must be one of the closet things to mush besides mushy peas but the name gives them away. Tatsuki had a curry and a hot one at that.

If anything, I learned when people offer you to taste a hot curry to politely decline.

BECAUSE IT'S NOT HOT IT'S SCORCHING!

What on earth did they put into it anyway?!

Also I would like to note, never down a glass of water after... It's doesn't help at all.

Luckily I recovered about half an hour later, which according to Rukia was a good thing saying that would leave us enough time to get loads of cloths...

NOT AGAIN!

"But before we do that..." Rukia declared catching both me and Tatsuki's attention.

"Yahiko come here a minute" Rukia ordered.

"Who?" I replied confused, Rukia facepalmed while Tatsuki smirked.

Who's Yahiko?

I mean there only us three here.

And I'm pretending to be a bo- Oh wait

Damn...

I hung my head a little as I muttered something inaudible and shuffled in front of where a unimpressed Rukia stood which stood near the staircase, who also watched me on my head... Hard!

"Ow!" I exclaimed while rubbing the sure to bruise, red mark on the front of my head.

I've decided, I have a new nickname for Rukia.

Introducing...

Small but Mighty!

Yeah, that would work!

I was brought out of my little my little mental rant when I felt two small hands shove my stomach, hard.

It all happened in slow motioned, I lost balance from the shove and took a step back which I misplaced which was on the end of the step and since the rest of my foot had nowhere else to go it followed, then so did my body slowly falling backward, arms flailing, going round in backwards windmill at two hundred miles per hour. Unfortunately my arms weren't fast enough and my body won, I started falling backwards so then the gravity took effect and well I was a pile or Orihime on the bottom of a flight of stairs, bloody and bruised...

Stairs - 1, Orihime - 0

WHAT THE HELL RUKIA!

You could have killed m- Wait she's been nearly doing that since she arrived... Well at least this time isn't was by suffocation...

Not sure if thats a good or bad sign.

If anything at least my nearly fatal fall gained everyones attention around us, again not quite sure if thats a good or bad.

I wobbly stood up with bloody dribbling down the side of my face and with a small bust lip as well, I sent Rukia a WTF face, who smirked and turned and started walking away.

"Come on Tatsuki we've got some cloth shopping to do." Rukia said loud enough for me to hear, Tatsuki sent me a sorry look before following the little devil.

Yes another nickname, I made that only a few seconds ago... AFTER SHE PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRCASE!

Surprisingly she had only taken a few steps before she turned around her face was smiling evilly...

What now?!

"Oh Yahiko, you might want to get those cuts sorted and make sure you're alright... I'm sure any of these lovely girls-" Rukia paused smiling sweetly, I knew that look all too well and then nodded to the ever increasing and approaching girls surrounds me.

"- would be happy to help you out... So when you're _**Better **_you can find us in some shop" Rukia finished smirked and span back around and walked off with Tatsuki waved to me.

I don't like the sound of that better... It sounded more like a come at the wrong time and I will kill you type of better. Then again I think it would be a better death then whats closing in and fast...

"Oh are you okay?" A girl questioned me.

Do I look okay?

I was just pushed down a flight of stairs, for christ sake and you ask that?!

"...I'm fine..." I replied but unluckily for me there was more than one and they either were using their sense or not taking no for answer...

"If you want to help me, could you please go get some cooling plasters please, it has to be them because I'm allergic to the others" I asked politely, the all nodded then I blinked and they had all started running off shouting about colling plasters.

It was one of my better idea's, yeah there not coming back anytime soon... The only place that sells cooling plaster because they invented them and that is across town which is about an three hours away near my old flat. Nope I'm not allergic to them but I always thought they were coller, pun not intended. In which sending them on a wild goose chase, giving me time to escape!

I wiped the blood that was slipping down the side of my bench and slowly limp my way to the bench.

"U-um... Are okay-y" A timid voice questioned, I looked up to see a girl looking both pertfried and concerned at the same time.

She's so shy

Wow I just used a alliteration! Gold star for me!

I sent a reassuring smile, she gave me back a shy smile.

"I'm fine, don't worry. I've been through worse" I replied with a sad small smile, I decided not to think on that for much longer and patter the spot next to me indicating for her to sit.

"O-oh... Um.. W-well you see yo-ou can'-t get tho-ose pla-ster around here..." She stuttered, I gave a fake gasp.

"And I sent all those girl out there looking for them! They'll be there for hours oh no!" My voice dripped of sarcasm, making her laugh, I smiled.

"Yahiko" I said holding out my hand for her to shake, she shyly grabbed it and shuck.

...I'm way too good at being a boy the my own good.

It's kind of scary actually.

Apparently I sound like a boy as well...

I really should stop giving Rukia evidence that I'm perfect for this job... Well actually I think it's too late.

Damn.

"Nina" She stated the first time she didn't stutter in our mini conversation.

Luckily for me most of the cuts had stopped bleeding but it still bloody hurt! Again pun not intended...

"Yahiko was it?" A girls voice questioned, we turned to see her standing there hands on her hips.

Well she isn't so shy...

I nodded to her she smirked.

Great another smirker... Smirking is never a good sign especially for the person on the receiving end. *Hint* ME! *Hint*

"You're new to town?" She questioned bluntly, I blinked.

"I guess"

Her smirk widened.

"I'm Poppy, the most popular student in Karakura high!" She exclaimed, I blinked while Nina was shaking slightly.

Hmmm, I wonder...

Wait a second!

"I thought Karakura High was an all boys school?" I questioned out loud.

"Oh yes it is, it's the original! It was so popular with the boys that they decided to make a female version VERY close by but of course the boys is the more better known" Poppy answered loudly.

Is she on a sugar high or something?

I really don't like the sound of that VERY either...

"And that _thing _you're sat next to is the school's nobody" Poppy evil spat, I didn't' like that one bit. it was horrible.

"I'll make my own opinion thank you" I said over to Poppy who gasped. I stood up ignoring the pain.

I'll get you back for this later Rukia I swear down!

"Want to come and help me patch up Nina?" I questioned an equally shocked Nina who slowly nodded and literally jumped up.

"Bye I guess" I said as me and Nina walked off to find some first aid while Poppy stormed off, I swear she vowed revenge or something... I wasn't really listening.

Three hours later, the first two was attacking me with band aid and bandages and hiding from the droolers as they will now be name for obvious reasons the last hour me and Nina were talking in a cafe about anything and everything before she said that she had to study and we bid our goodbyes and went our separate ways. Luckily I ran into Tatsuki and Rukia barely a minute later...

All most like they'd been spying on me...

But Rukia had like ten years worth of clothes bags, so I doubt it.

"Hey you two I'm just going to pee, so I'll be a minuet" Tatsuki informed us, luckily we were right outside of the bathrooms

"Hey Ori-Yahiko how's it going?" Rukia questioned like she hadn't merely pushed me down a flight of stairs three hour ago.

"Peachy" I said through gritted teeth.

There was a slight pause.

...

..

.

"WHY ON EARTH DID YOU PUSH ME DOWN THE STAIRS?" I shouted making the shoppers around us stop and stare.

"It's all part of the plan, if you'd been bothered to read it" Rukia stated calmly. I sweatdropped.

"What the kill Orihime plan"

"No, the practice as the opposite gender"

"So how did nearly killing me help?"

"You got the girls attention"

"Yeah and nearly a hearse to boot... Wasn't there an easier way than that?"

"Yeah but it was fun to watch."

FUN TO WATCH?

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!

"...I worry about you sometimes Rukia" I stated

"Anyway shouldn't I be practicing with boys since I'm going to be in a ALL boys school" I added, Rukia rolled her eyes.

"It's all one the plan ...The boys are next" Rukia stated.

Oh great!

You did ask remember?

But, but..u-

WHY AM I QUESTION MYSELF? AND WHY AM I ANSWERING?!

"But there no boys around here" Rukia observed, I looked around and spotted a few coming our way.

"What about them?" I said while pointing them out to Rukia who gasped.

"Ichigo" She whispered

Htu?!

I didn't get a chance get a good luck because the next thing I knew, again I was being pushed by Rukia but this time it's through a door.

"He can't see you with me, I'll ruin the whole thing" Rukia stated while pushing me.

Wait!

Not again!

Luckily this time I managed to catch my balance after entering the door by spinning around.

Phew that was close.

I stood up straight and took in my surroundings and straight into the eyes of shocked slightly older teen... Then it clicked...

Rukia had pushed me into the girls toilet looking like a boy, the girls looked at me, I looked at her, out of the corner of my eye I could see Tatsuki came from her cubicle wondering what on earth is going off, she looked at me then the girl then back again and froze

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"The girl screamed loudly shocked.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I shouted equally as loud, embarrassed and nervous and shocked!

Yep just another half day in the life of Orihime/Yahiko Inoue!


End file.
